philip_charming | Adventure the Third

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Adventure the Third

[Coming back to the cottage from the battle with the statue, Philip took care of his horse Samson, moving on autopilot... then just slumped in a chair even as the horse flopped onto a carpet nearby.

Just give him a minute, he'll reach for the bandages soon... Right now, he'll just sit and stare at his battered and aching hands.]

I helped today. I know I did. Lives were saved by my actions; mine, and those of others. But what do you say to the people that died anyway?

What do you do, when your best just isn't good enough?

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You can't save them all unfortunately. Don't blame yourself, easier said than done, I know.

[England would definitely know all about that.]

You honor their deaths and keep moving forward. Regret will hold you back.

[As soon as Phillip and Samson had come home from battle, Aurora had been quick to go get things to make them better. She had gotten Samson some carrots and apples while for Phillip she had instantly given him hot tea and some soup. In her haste she had nearly spilt the soup on the tray but had managed to get it to him without spilling a drop. When she was sure he had had something warm and soothing for his inside, Aurora had gone into the other room to get the bandages to help with the smaller cuts and bruises Phillip was sure to have gained. She hadn't heard his woes as her dreamberry had been left in her room, her focus on Phillip and Samson's care and theirs alone.

She came back into the living room with bandages and warmed lotion that was good for the muscles and helping cuts heal.]

Phillip? [As she entered the room she only heard "good enough," and blinked before her brow knit with worry.] Is something wrong?

No you can't... not always, at least.

But that doesn't make it any easier.

[It's not the first time Philip's been down this recriminatory road, but that doesn't help.]

That's the thing.

I can't be always asking myself 'what if'; I know I did the best I could and didn't make any real mistakes I'd want to undo. But why do we fight, if not so that others won't have to?

Somehow, saying 'You shouldn't have had to be part of this' to a grave just doesn't feel like it's enough.

Hmm? [He looked up, smiling tiredly at his bride-to-be; he didn't think he'd ever get tired of seeing how her entrance would light up a room.]

No, it's nothing really. I was just feeling a little introspective. [He stretched out a hand, sighing at the strain of overstressed muscles but wanting the chance to touch her; it helped to have that tangible reminder of what he was fighting for.]

Then apologize to them, if it makes you feel better about it. It's yourself you're feeling sorry for, isn't it?

You fight on.

[She instantly grabbed his hand, linking their fingers and knowing he just needed her there, and there she would remain. Aurora moved and kissed his forehead and then each temple. Her gallant and brave love. She didn't know how the battle went, at the moment she only cared he was returned to her. She knew it was cruel to think that, what if there had been others who had not returned? But she would not look over the blessing of Phillip returning to her. She wasn't quite sure what she would do if he hadn't.]

Do you want to tell me?

Myself? No, I can't say it's as simple as 'survivor's guilt.' I'm not ashamed of my part, or my continued existence... but none of that helps them, or their bereaved.

Even if it's not my fault, that doesn't make it any less wrong.

[Ummm... WHOA.

Between the enormous size of the man, the ornate ~~PAULDRONS~~ resplendence of his armor, and the set of his eyes, this was CLEARLY one hell of a warrior; one who'd doubtless been fighting for as long as Philip had been alive. It was plain that he knew what he was talking about, but nonetheless Philip had to ask.]

And that's enough?

[He's a prince, not an immortal super-soldier; there's more to Philip's life than fighting.]

No it doesn't I'm afraid. But saving those you could was certainly noble of you.

No battle is without casualties. That would just be a scuffle. Something like the statue will always demand a price in blood before it is beaten. The burden is on those living to make the losses suffered worth it. [ He looks at Phillip, his expression calm. There is a strange serenity to Titus when not embroiled in battle. ]

[Her kisses fell on his head like a blessing, and so much of his morose imaginings just seemed to melt away; he'd protected her from the battle, kept that knife-construct from coming near the cottage or threatening his lady-love. THAT was what really mattered.

He hadn't failed, not in the least... even if some poor innocents hadn't managed to be protected by him, or the forces he fought with.]

You make it better, you know. Having you here... it helps remind me about the worth of being a protector.

[She wasn't entirely sure what made him question being a protector, but her arms wrapped around him and she rested her forehead against his.]

Even without me, you are incredible. I know... I'm so sure the kingdom knows that too.

If you don't think you've done enough then just get stronger.

No, that's not what I meant. I meant… who knows what they think about it, right? Maybe they're satisfied they died valiantly, or something.

Well.

It was the right thing to do.

...You think they might be satisfied a mobile statue made of knives caved their homes in around their ears.

If they'd been fighting, that would be different; any warrior knows that they might not make it through the battle alive. But these folks likely died before they knew there was a fight, before they knew to escape.

What satisfaction could they have?

[England turned away from the camera with a small smile on his face. He'd certainly heard that one before.]

Of course.

[His eyes closed as he hugged her tight, feeling her warmth against him as he drew in a deep, Aurora-scented breath- And then gently sighed it out again.]

I do what I can, where I can. But you? You bring out the best in people, my love. You surely bring out the best in me.

Casualties happen, yes. Any fighting force knows it can suffer losses in any clash.

But bystanders have no business paying the blood-price. [Philip's been to war before, he's led men in battle. But this is his first time for an attack on civilians.]

What blame would they have?

[Philip just... LOOKED at him for a little while, there. It was an admirable sentiment, sure- but even HE thought that was naive!]

It's important to keep in good form for a fight, of course- but there are limits to what a body can do.

[Sorry Ichigo, he's not a shounen manga hero. No gratuitously dangerous soul-training here, just a lifetime on the practice ground with a couple stints on the battlefield.]

For dying unjustly?

What resentment wouldn't they have?

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Adventure the Third

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